Friday, April 29, 2016


Yes, I went and heard a General Authority (actually 2) speak this past Tuesday night.

The leading General Authority, who presided the meeting, gave a great talk, but there was something he said that bugged me.

What did he say?

I know I probably don't have this entirely correct.

"For those who have been married, your marriage is over, whether it be by divorce or death."

Divorce I get, but death?  To some degree, he is correct, but to some degree, he is very wrong.

The majority of marriages on this earth are deemed "till death do you part".

In the Temple, however, marriages are for time and eternity.

When death occurs, yes, the time part of the marriage is over.  The widow is declared by the Church to be single, as they are no longer part of a mortally living couple.

The problem is, many people take this to mean that the eternal part of the marriage is also over.  They are wrong.

The most amazing experiences for me, spiritually, have occurred since my husband's death.  This is because a sealed marriage has it's power through the Holy Priesthood.  This priesthood doesn't die.  It's not yet another earthly possession to discard after someone dies.  Because of this, the connection between the spouses still exists.  I have experienced this firsthand. My husband, who is very busy on the other side of the veil, does still connect with me, particularly during the quiet times of my days and nights, as well as in my dreams.

He is still very much my husband, my eternal companion, and the father who is watching over our children who are with him on the other side of the veil.

So, for my widow buddies who are being told their marriages are over, tell the brother or sister in the gospel who say this that they are suffering from near-sightedness.

Saturday, April 9, 2016

Singles Activities

I felt really bad this morning for my Ward's leadership in hosting a Singles Waffle Brunch for the single sisters in the Ward, from what I heard counted 70, and there were only about 5-6 of us who showed up.

Then, during the delicious meal, the comment was made as to why the numbers were so small.  My response was to simply acknowledge that they were missing out on some really good waffles.  

What I wanted to say, though, I chose not to say for fear of sounding snarky, and I certainly didn't want to offend people I love so much.

These, however, were a few thoughts.

First, okay, there are 70 single sisters in the Ward, a portion are widowed like myself.  How many of them have to work on Saturdays and couldn't come?

Reason #2:  With the Bishop there, some of the sisters would refuse to come as they would not be permitted to gossip about others in the Ward.  Sad, yes, but true.

Reason #3:  This is probably the big reason.  There was no real compelling reason to be there.

What I mean by this was, what would the people showing up benefit from coming?

Take out the visiting, the message from the Bishop, the good food, there was no other reason to draw people in.

There were no classes on:  

1.  Surviving the grieving process and ways people can cope, taught by counsellors from LDS Family Services.

2.  A primer on financial basics geared for single sisters, taught by our resident CPA.

3.  Basics of job hunting and getting that resume ready, taught by someone from the LDS Employment Services.

4.  Gardening and Food Storage basics.

5.  Basics of using power tools for home maintenance.

I'm sure the list could go on, but this will give you an idea of what I mean.  There used to be (I don't know if there still are) Singles Conferences every six months, and none of these topics were ever covered, yet for many women, particularly ones who just recently suffered a loss of spouse or divorce, this is exactly what they need.  It's a way for people to grasp what they do have control over, in situations where they feel they have none.

I could be wrong, and there could have been other reasons, I don't know, but this was what was going through my mind.

Welcome To The Widowed Connection

Welcome to the Widowed Connection, where widowed members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints can read and share in this blog.