Yesterday morning as I was getting dressed for work, Decker paid me a visit. No light, no voices, just the overwhelming feeling of him being there, giving me a hug that left me breathless.
Decker passed away on August 14, 2000 due to a pulmonary embolism that was misdiagnosed as a heart attack. It's been a while since his death, but I can usually count on being a basket case for our wedding anniversary and the anniversary of his death.
This, though, came as a surprise (somewhat) to me, though. I had been thinking about him, remembering how he held me in his arms, how he kissed me. I miss having that in my life. I'm thinking maybe he misses it too, as his presence was very strong, very overpowering.
I wept like I haven't done in years, and could feel pain leaving my body with the tears. I think that surprised me most of all.
I was having trouble adjusting to what had happened during the day at work yesterday, but I knew my home teachers were busy when it happened. I knew I needed a Priesthood Blessing, but it waited until that evening, when I was told in the blessing that this visit was just one of the tender mercies from the Lord.
Painful? Yes. But truly a blessing to be able to get these visits from Decker from time to time. Yes, I still love him, it's nice to know he still loves me too.