Lately, either people I know personally or people associated with friends have committed suicide. In many ways, I can understand why, having had suicidal thoughts shortly after Decker died.
What I can tell my widow buddies out there is this: what you are experiencing is only a fragment of reality, not in it's entirety.
My experience was looking through life through a tunnel filled with pain, with no end in sight.
Thankfully, I had a good friend who literally shook me into the true reality and out of the suicidal thoughts.
What I can also tell you is this: you are not alone, you are not forgotten, you are not forsaken. Not by anyone, including me. If you need help, ask.
You can call Bishops, Stake Presidents, Relief Society Presidents, other widows in your Ward.
The National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255