Tonight's Scripture

From  The Gospel Library App for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints:

12 And the Lord have removed men far away, for there shall be a great forsaking in the midst of the land.

13 But yet there shall be a tenth, and they shall return, and shall be eaten, as a teil tree, and as an oak whose substance is in them when they cast their leaves; so the holy seed shall be the substance thereof.

2 Nephi 16:12-13

http://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/16?lang=eng

What struck me this evening was the "tenth" used in verse 13.  This was Nephi quoting Isaiah, who was describing the coming destruction of the House of Israel.  First in the Northern Kingdoms, then in Judah.

So, what does a "tenth" mean in this scripture?

I've thought of a tenth of something to have the symbolism of a tithe.

Could this be the fruits of a tithe?  Where the "holy seed" is brought back, albeit in bondage and slavery, to provide remnants of the House of Israel (descendents of David) to produce the lineage and backdrop for the Messiah?

These are just a few random thoughts.

Back to your regularly scheduled program.

Suicide

Lately, either people I know personally or people associated with friends have committed suicide.  In many ways, I can understand why, having had suicidal thoughts shortly after Decker died.

What I can tell my widow buddies out there is this:  what you are experiencing is only a fragment of reality, not in it's entirety.

My experience was looking through life through a tunnel filled with pain, with no end in sight.

Thankfully, I had a good friend who literally shook me into the true reality and out of the suicidal thoughts.

What I can also tell you is this:  you are not alone, you are not forgotten, you are not forsaken.  Not by anyone, including me.  If you need help, ask.

You can call Bishops, Stake Presidents, Relief Society Presidents, other widows in your Ward.

The National Suicide Prevention Hotline:  1-800-273-8255

Priesthood?

During today's Sunday School class it was brought up how important a role the Priesthood of God has in these last days, not only in sharing the Gospel, but also in providing the ordinances to bring people back to God.

Another person in class pointed out the experience of their widowed mother, and how critical the priesthood is for her.

Then I explained to the class how I haven't been home taught or visit taught in years.  Yes, years.

Then a third person spoke up and told me I should rely upon the Lord, not the Priesthood.  This was coming from a sister in the Ward with a husband and children.

Congratulations, people, you now know why so many of the widowed commit suicide.

Enough said.

Sunday School

I love Sunday School.  There is always something there for me to learn.

Today, it was Lesson 23:  The Lord Be Between Thee and Me For Ever

I needed this lesson given the experiences of my previous post, regarding my previous Ward.

While I have not been perfect in what happened, and have some things to repent of, there is a lesson of being the meek and humble Latter-day Saint vs. being a doormat, even with other Latter-day Saints.

The fact that I am a widow and was not home taught for over a year should speak volumes.  I don't seek for vengeance against these people, they will need to answer to the Lord for what they have done, and the motivation for doing so.  That doesn't mean, though, that the Lord expects me to be a doormat and just simply "take it".

This goes back to David and Saul.

Did David support Saul?  Yes, he continued to fight battles under Saul, even while Saul was trying to have David killed in battle.

Did David lose his respect for Saul?  Yes, it got to the point where David had to go into hiding because Saul lost the respect and trust of both David and Saul's own son, Jonathan.

Did David try to take vengeance against Saul?  No.  David knew that to do so was a violation against God, as vengeance belongs to God.  David, however, also knew that Saul had already lost, in that David would inherit Saul's throne.  He had already been anointed to be the next king.

However, God also gave David the opportunity to confront Saul, which he did and cut the hem of Saul's robe, meaning that Saul had lost the battle.  David did not kill Saul - he was not to be seeking revenge, but David was not expected to be a doormat to Saul and allow Saul to kill him.  David was doing the Lord's will.

Goodbye

After some prayer, I have moved my membership back to Evergreen Ward.

I could never get home taught in the Ward I have left, and those who did show up gave no indication that they cared anything about my Mother.

Which is sad, given that this is the Ward my Mother lives in.  Since she's not a member of the Church, apparently she was not important to them.

Happy Anniversary

A happy and belated anniversary to the love of my eternal life.  We were sealed to one another 16 years ago on June 12, 1998.

The anniversary was on Thursday, and usually I'm a basket case.  This time, however, I put in a roughly 12 hour day at work, followed by taking care of Mom.  

She had cataract surgery #2 the week before and was still on eye drops.  The good news is, she is doing very, very well, and her vision is outstanding without the glasses.  She is also doing better with her walking, given that her vision of where she is going has improved.

Apart from work and Mom, that's about it.  Church?  I'm going to a different Ward than the one Decker and I attended; I'm praying to see if I need to stay there or go back to Evergreen.  It's going to have to be an entirely different post to explain what is going on.

My love to all of you.

Happy Mothers Day

Happy Mothers Day everyone, particularly the widowed mothers who could use an extra hug today!

To the caregivers out there, Happy Mothering Day to you.

For all of the above, be sure to do something today to pamper yourselves just a little.

Losing A Significant Other - When You Are Not Married

I've seen this experience first-hand, my childhood sweetheart (who had a fiancé and small baby) was killed by a drunk driver when we were both 18 years old.  Everyone was devastated, but determined to help her raise their son.

When a boyfriend dies, does the grief mean less?

What do you think?