Monday, January 16, 2012

How To Become Happier Part 3

Stop Trying To Find Friends

Wendy Ulrich talked about the importance of having good friends.  In fact, studies have shown that those who are happiest at their jobs have a best friend there.  One they can confide in.

So, instead of trying to find friends, what do you do?

Instead, develop the skills of friendship.

One of those skills is understanding "bids".  This is where you say something to someone (or they say something to you) to start a conversation.  It could be anywhere, whether at work, or while standing in a line at the grocery store or bank.

Those who are the happiest had 6 hours of social contact daily.  This may or may not include work.  For me, I have at least 6 hours of social contact each day with students.  I can tell when I haven't met my quota, because I feel like I've been cut off.

Another part of this is to celebrate the success of others.  People who minimize the success of someone else with their own successes are not really friends, are they?  This is especially important for children, whose self esteem is still somewhat fragile.

Try It!

Make and respond to "bids".
Have at least one meaningful conversation daily.
Celebrate other's successes.

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